Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
