she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
