The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
