So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize