I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just cut my nipple shaving
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i drank out of a bidet.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
