those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
