There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
