He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
