Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize