She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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