I seem to have left my pride at pride
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
