He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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