considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
