Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I need to calm my uterus...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
