Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
