i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
