she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
