That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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