he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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