Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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