this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I am available for nakedness
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
