look no pants
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
