In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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