And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
