My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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