Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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