I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
