i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
