Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
