I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
