I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
