I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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