All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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