She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
