All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
