my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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