I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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