This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize