so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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