and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize