Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
