and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize