from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
