Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
