I feel great
I just peed on a car
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
