what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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