3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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