Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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