And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
