How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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