I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dick very happy bro
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
