Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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