Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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