some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
whose parrot is this?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
