You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just want nice things and good sex
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
