I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
