Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize