Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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