I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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