Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
