i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
