question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
