Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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